On Desire

There is no accounting for where desire can take us and no substitute for it when we are tackling something of real importance to us. I know. Many years ago I began a course of academic study as a young person which I did not complete. Life got in the way; I married, raised a family, enjoyed a career, but now and again, desire would rise up from the vaults of my subconscious mind and remind me that I had not fulfilled a heart’s desire…to be fully educated. Finally, when I retired from pulpit work, desire stood right in front of me and asked, “How about NOW?”

So I did it...

So I did it… over forty years later. I matriculated at one of our state universities and fought off the fear that I might not keep up with younger students (Enough desire can steam right through gathering fear and get you going, believe me.) Those years turned out to be some of the best of my life. I did, indeed, complete a formal education and earned both a Bachelor’s and Master’s Degree and found a very interesting experience being one of the oldest crocks on the campus. (No online stuff for me! I wanted hoary walls, classmates and instructors breathing down my neck, and grassy fields.) I remember a young classmate taking me aside one day to ask what I thought of his girlfriend. (What! Did my greater age give me expertise on assessing young woman?) I remember a young man sitting next to me in class with blue hair and what looked like a bone through his nose. (What if he sneezes? What if he gets a cold? Oy!) I remember an older professor who loved to stare down and intimidate his students…except for me, his contemporary. He did not mess with me!

It's good to be fearless...but

Vignettes of a happy, very productive time, but also a reminder that this wonderful episode would never have taken place without a desire strong enough to dispel all misgivings and pass through all fears. It’s good to be fearless when facing a daunting challenge, but barring that, enough desire can make just about anything possible.

And, by the way, desire is not only given to the young. How badly do you want it?

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On Favorite Places

It is often said that life is a journey, not a destination. Mostly I agree with this, but I also believe that from time to time, we have to arrive somewhere. We have to land on some places that we can call our own, places that hold meaning and succor for us, where we can put our feet up, so to speak. What I have discovered is that when we change, our places change also. Many years ago one of my favorites was, surprisingly, a well-cared-for cemetery. It had great shade trees, quiet benches, and next to no one was ever around. All the grave sites were back on the hillsides and out of view. The only thing that suggested it was a last resting place was an occasional, tiny crypt that sported a family name. In those days I needed a very quiet escape where I could empty out my confusions, no questions asked, in a non-resistant surrounding.

My needs are different...

Today my needs are different, and so are my places. They now allow for people on hand…a bay-side park with small boats on the water, a few kids and dogs chasing balls, a coffee shop with many familiar faces, smells and tastes that welcome and call up memories of a recent past.

We are always received...

Favorite places should act like old friends, I think, places that simply await, always giving their consistent gifts and asking for nothing. We can bring all of ourselves or none of them, and yet we are always received.

A centering piece of ground...

A favorite place can be a touchstone, a centering piece of ground that allows us to re-focus and let memories or items surface that help and do not harm, a place for gathering ourselves once more, ready to slip into the stream that contains our lives.

...into the fray once more...

Our places actually can talk to us, if we will listen. No one else can hear their silent whispers…nor should they…but we can. They bring welcome; they may startle; they stand ready…and they see us off into the fray once more.

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On Celebrations of Life

       

There are always occasions that involve joyous celebrations of important life events. We know them; some are special anniversaries, prize winnings, engagements, new babies, the special additions to our lives. And, within the last ten years or so, I have noticed an important life event that has definitely changed its tone from morbid to celebratory. This is the way we now view end-of-life gatherings.

...death is an honored closure...

As a minister I have conducted many funerals and memorials of people most beloved, and only within this last decade have we come to think of them as the revered and uplifting caps to an often quite extensive life. We have come to realize that death is an honored closure to a portion of our lives rather than a loss to be feared, something apart from the rest of our life. As the poets have noted, life and death are one; they belong together in the stream of our ongoing lives. To welcome the one but seek to avoid the other is to misunderstand greatly the importance of every second of our living experiences.

Funerals and memorials capture only a portion....

Many of us know this now because families and friends now hold Celebrations of Life Services as end-of-life events. We have come to feel that funerals and memorials capture only a portion of wonderful lives, often eliminating the natural joy that is always present when communities of love come together, even around a sad time.

...to weep together and also to laugh...

Celebration Services allow us to consider the loved one, to weep together, and also to laugh in remembrance of the funny sides of shared experiences. They help us to remember that while we may miss physical closeness, we may always keep memorable experiences close in our hearts. Celebrations allow everything to have meaning with nothing lost to morbidity and misgivings.

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On Suiting Up

I love baseball metaphors. Partly because baseball is the only game I know and partly because this year’s World Series ended with the triumph of the San Francisco Giants, one of our local teams. Ah, yes, Madison Baumgarner, Pablo Sandoval and Hunter Pence, the current El Dorados, and a fine team of skilled veterans and sharp-eyed rookies gave us locals much to admire.

Suited up for every game...

As I enjoyed the play…even the occasional routs…I always noticed the bullpen and the sideliners, and without exception all the team players and managers came suited up for every game, even if they were not scheduled to play that day. They watched; they sat; they were attentive, for who knew what could happen or what might be asked. Whatever, they were ready.

In a state of readiness...

Actually we come into life in a state of readiness, especially when we are young. The new baby may be born naked, but he is suited up already. Little kids can’t wait to jump out of bed and get started. It takes time and a few hard smacks to make us tentative, and there is wisdom to be learned in this as well. Maybe leaping without thought isn’t all it’s cracked up to be! The problem arises when we develop a lack of willingness or eagerness to put ourselves forward when the day beckons, fear of disappointment perhaps, or fear of being hurt. Still, it becomes a shame when all the risk taking in us drains out and what remains is a half glance at the forming possibilities.

They were not found wanting...

Certainly the Giants took risks as did their counterparts, the Kansas City Royals. One team took home a trophy but both became more aware of what they were really made of, and no one loses from that. They all came suited up, ready for all the surprises still forming, and they were not found wanting, not either team.

I don’t wish to be found wanting either, so whatever the day may look like, I am still willing to say: Put me in coach!

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