I am a consummate worrier. It’s not that I have a pessimistic view of life or look for trouble. In fact, I have a deeply-held spiritual belief that life is basically good and that, as the philosopher Ernest Holmes said, the universe is for us. I just seem to be wired for worrying. Probably because I am something of a control freak, knowing there is always a possibility that things may not go as I would like…which they often don’t…and this is worrisome.
Is his trust level higher?...
My husband, on the other hand, does not worry about much of anything. His quip to me is “Why should I be concerned? You worry enough for the two of us!” He’s infuriating…and he’s right. Is his trust level higher than mine? Have his life experiences given him a stronger hold on his own wellbeing? Perhaps. Maybe his having survived being an active pilot for the RAF during WWII has given him an outlook I cannot have. Whatever it is, it’s a blessing.
We keep trying...
But then, maybe there are at least a few gifts at hand for the worrier. I think that worrying keeps us present to what’s at hand. Annoyingly so. And it also suggests a level of caring about outcomes. Worriers want everyone and everything to be ok at all times. Impossible, but we keep trying.
Short circuit the ramp-up....
While worriers may not achieve permanent, laid-back coolness, we can be smarter about de-tensioning ourselves so we can short circuit the ramp-up of full-on worry before it takes hold. We can recognize the signs of mild freaking out that can sometimes accompany worry and remind ourselves of who we are and where we are. We can haul in perspective again and certainly practice more trust. Our worlds can be a little gentler, and perhaps we can bring together our abilities to both care and be at peace as well.
It’s certainly worth the effort.
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