On Kids

We are immersed in a world of children. Some are wanted; some come along by accident; some come through the birth process; some come through adoption; some are enchanting; some are difficult; some are ours; some are other people’s children. In a word, we live surrounded by kids, and it is my belief that kids can never have too many people loving them. In fact they need as much love as they can possibly get, love that is patient, understanding and love that says no when it is needed.

"Blended" families

Many kids live in what are called “broken” families; the unit is no longer intact and the members may become scattered. Some kids live in “blended” families, groups that did not begin together but come together as parents either remarry or form another family unit. I know something about this because I, a divorced woman with children, married a divorced man with children. I learned very quickly that these new kids are not “add-ons;” they are part of an entirely new family community. Challenging, yes! Rewarding, absolutely! And the ultimate magic comes about when the kids you have taken the time to love turn about and love you. Seems that we can never have enough kids loving us either!

Blossoming adults

When does a kid stop being a kid and become an adult? We all know the objective standards that indicate adulthood. That pliable little boy one day becomes surly and grows lots of hair. Our girls develop attitudes and wear clothes that seem way too tight. As adolescents they are on their way and will hopefully realize some of the guidelines we have given them until at last real adulthood emerges. I think that fathers delight in seeing their progeny grow up. Mothers, on the other hand, are another matter. They may be proud of their children’s successes and may beam at Graduation Ceremonies or other celebratory recognitions, but in their hearts, those blossoming adults are still their kids. And even when those adults themselves begin to gray and change direction a time or two, they are still their kids. No one ever said that parenthood made perfect sense.

Seriously spoiling

Then there is the second round of kids…grandkids, and these relationships can be a real head scratcher. If grandparents become responsible for raising grandkids, as sometimes happens, they have a second chance at correcting the mistakes they made the first time around and are often very diligent at it. On the other hand, if grandkids are being finely reared by their parents, grandparents can now attend to the ruination of grandkids by seriously spoiling them…and then giving them back at the end of the day! Go figure!

 Always in our hearts

Admit it or not, kids are the extensions of our own lives. Certainly they will do what they choose to do, but a part of us goes with them, perhaps in a shared feature or a gesture. They may be lights of our lives or deep disappointments, but they are always in our hearts.