On Holding Hands

Lately when I take my walks I have been noticing what seems to be an increase in the number of walking couples holding hands. Is the number really increasing, I wonder, or is my need to feel the comfort of connected people greater than usual? Has the public rhetoric of recent weeks been so miserable that I cannot trust the words I hear and feel the need for greater closeness every time I see it? Perhaps. And also there are the multiple, silent messages that are being transmitted through the medium of touch. Among other things, holding hands implies “I’m here for you…You can count on me.” A clasp around the shoulders suggests “I know how you feel…I hear what you are not able to say.”

Our personal "space"...

When we are rigidly taught to keep our personal “space” inviolate, we miss something. Some years ago I visited India and, on a bus trip, noted how the streets absolutely teemed with people. There was no chance for them to have broad, personal space, but they serpentined easily and thoughtfully together in the available opportunities. Somehow they managed to respect the movement they shared collectively without resentment. Did they know something about closeness that I did not?

"Vocal in the silence"...

My intention is to become more “vocal in the silence,” if this makes sense. I want to bring the message my heart would love to say if it had the words. When it does not, I will need another language…the universal language of touch, something even the youngest among us understands. Even a child knows when the proferred hand of an adult is meant to guide and secure.

Touch is not that clever...

Words can be lies; they can manipulate; they can change meanings into something completely different than the syllables uttered. Touch is not that clever. It may be soft; it may be insistent but it always transmits its meanings. What if, instead of saying the angry words about to spring from our lips, we extended a hand that indicated. “It’s ok…It’ll be all right.”? Just imagine the situations that could be re-directed and perhaps saved!

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You might also enjoy "On a Safe Harbor."